Pastor Mark Ochi is the lead pastor at Kings and Priests Ministries, with head office in Calabar, Cross River State, South-South Nigeria. The charismatic man of God, just celebrated 25 years (silver jubilee) of his marriage to his heartthrob, Barrister Onyinye Ochi (nee Esike). In this interview with the Publisher/Editor-in- Chief of IVNTV NEWS, Emenike Bright Esike, Pastor Ochi spoke on a range of issues that has sustained his marriage these 25 years and still counting. He also advised couples having challenges in their homes and described the raging trend of divorce as unnecessary if married couples can exercise patients and think through their problems. He also spoke on other range of marital issues that could help marriages. It is an interesting read. Excerpts.
Please sir, can you introduce yourself to our numerous readers?
My name is Mark Ochi. I am the lead pastor at Kings and Priests Ministries based in Calabar, Cross River State.
Mark Ochi and for the purpose of this interview is the husband of Barrister Onyinye, the daughter of late Chief Solomon Esike of Umuokogbuo, Eluama, Isuikwuato, Abia State.
Congratulations! You just celebrated the silver jubilee of your marriage with your wife. Can you tell us how the journey began?
Thank you for the felicitation on our silver jubilee. In response to how we began I would say, we met in the line of our work. She was our banker at the time so I always saw her on a regular basis. However, what ticked my interest in Onyinye was a statement she made in a casual conversation. I can’t remember what it was we were talking about but she said something like ” I don’t think I will respect a man just because he is my husband. He must make me respect him”. That was it for me, it opened the door to this past twenty five years.
How can you describe your wife?
My wife is the most resolute, determined and hard to sway person. But under all of this, she is the most reasonable and caring person.
It has not been all safe sail. What has been your staying power?
With regards to how we have made it this far, I would say the fear of God on both sides. And respect for our words to each other. What I mean is this, at the centre of our relationship is the fear of God. This has provided for our honoring our commitment to each other, therefore, we have respect for ourselves.
The family system is facing challenges. How would you advise those going through challenges in their homes?
My advice to people experiencing difficult times in marriage is simple but not one size fits all. That is, find the hurting spot and mitigate it. We say in Igbo that if a child is crying and looking in a particular direction, then either the mother or what is cursing the discomfort is there. So, it is simple if every party in marriage considers how they are cursing each other pain. And does something about it and the pain will go away
Young people are increasingly getting scared to venture into marriage. How are you going to advise those wishing to get married?
Being scared of marriage is an indication that you don’t understand marriage. You don’t get scared of the things you understand. Everybody has a healthy fear of animals but people keep lions as pets. The thing is, many people marry for wrong reasons. And that becomes a serious problem as the marriage progresses. Marriage is a partnership for three reasons, to create a safe place to raise godly children. Second, to provide the parties a place of comfort and encouragement in difficult times. And finally, a place of intimacy without guilt.
My advice, therefore, to young people is to clarify their motive in marriage and I guarantee you will succeed.
What special memories do you share of your marriage?
There are many special memories I have of my marriage and I believe there will still be more as we continue. But let me just mention one. Having to raise our children is one memory that I will live with and take with me when I die. You see children bring a certain mix in the equation of marriage and puts a strain on your relationship. We have had the blessing of raising our children and not lost our fire for one another.
The rate of divorce in our society is becoming alarming. What can you say are the responsible factors and how can this trend be checked?
Divorce for me is like a man who beats his wife. What I mean is this. Any man who beats his wife is a man who has lost his capacity to make a superior argument. So, he resorts to physical force to make his point clear.
When people divorce it simply shows that the man has run out of capacity to gain his wife’s following by superior argument. I may never know why but think about it. Divorced people still go on to remarry and do well. What happened? Somebody did not have the capacity to think through and present a superior and compelling argument. They simply gave up.
My advice is in in conclusion. Don’t give up on your partner. Think and do everything that has to be done. After all, love never gives up. Never looses faith. And is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance.
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